Finally finally finally, the project is over! This week past by with a frenetic pace. I've been practically living in the school labs. Besides the times when we break for meals, we've been working and working and working.
Saturday and Sunday: Working on presentation, running tonnes of simulations. Results turned out to be rather disappointing
Monday: Presentation. Went pretty well. But was so long that the profs were falling asleep
Tuesday & Wednesday: Writing up and more writing up
Thursday: Proofreading and making corrections
Friday: Printing and then binding.
The report turned out to be just over a hundred pages and we had to print 11 copies of it. So our print job turned out to be ~1150 pages and cost ~$300 bucks. Luckily, the project is sponsored so it's nothing out of our pockets. I did hear that some other options had to fork out money to do the printing etc. What giving out our labor for free and still have to pay for it? Outrageous!
Anyway, I'm glad it's over. Sorry for not replying any mail for so long. I was so tired by the time I get back :{
So I still have a week left before commencement and another 1/2 week or so after that before I leave here. I'm gonna miss it but I'm also looking forward to going back. Esp all that yummy food. Gawd, I'm making myself hungry.
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Friday, May 20, 2005
Friday, May 13, 2005
The One Before
So my final exam in university has ended. It went okay. Now, I'll need to work full time on the project. Anyway, Baba in my last vent is really a nice guy. In fact, I couldn't ask for a better team member. I guess even when I complain, whine, get angry with people, it's sometimes really a heat of the moment thing. The good thing is all the negativity dissipates once I get a good nights sleep. (so maybe all that displeasure was really because I have a horrible disposition when I'm lacking sleep) The bad thing is when I sometimes act impulsively when I'm pissed off and I would really wish I didn't say or do the things I did.
In my case, I've come to accept that I complain about things because I am unable to cope with them. One of the good things about being able to talk to darling about anything is that I learn new things about myself when I'm talking about things I'm so used to doing. Because I directed his attention on me, I'm more conscious of how he sees me, hence, giving me a more objective view of my own actions.
So anyway, if whoever I wrote about accidentally chance upon this site, I'm deeply sorry for what I've said before. My own incompetence in dealing with certain situations is no reason for me to vent on others.
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It's sometimes hard for me to start writing. Most of the time I'm horribly dissatisfied with what I had and end up rewriting one paragraph several times. The most enjoyable writing I've done tends to flow directly from the brain to print, no silly sentence contruction woes etc. Of course that probably means that my grammer is worse than usual but... well... that's what spell checks are for? :o)
What I would really wish to do is to make any type of writing enjoyable. Or at least tolerable. I was struck with this idea after my exam today that during exams, I never seem to have a problem with writing. Perhaps I've been trained so well to answer questions that it comes naturally. So what I thought might work is to pose my writing pieces to myself as questions like "What is the purpose of this section?" and move on from there. It probably sounds silly but I think forcing myself to think about why I'm writing it sometimes help in giving myself clarity of thought. Will try this when I'm writing the report later.
One of the things about the report that I'm really trying to achive is to write like a kid. Not in terms of the content but the style. I've really hated reading papers and books whose main purpose appears to be impressing or confusing rather than enhance understanding. I've come to believe that we should write to be understood. If I can help it, I will not use jargon in my writing or yawn-inducing equations. I'm personally a technical person. I understand jargon. I love Maths. But equations still make my eyes gloss over whenever I see them. How would it look to someone without the same background as I do?
A common 'fault' I've found among the American engineering students is the desire to spew jargon. Maybe it impresses people in job interviews and thus grants them a better job. I personally don't like it. If an employer didn't hire me because I didn't use words he didn't understand, perhaps this is not the company I would be really happy in.
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In my case, I've come to accept that I complain about things because I am unable to cope with them. One of the good things about being able to talk to darling about anything is that I learn new things about myself when I'm talking about things I'm so used to doing. Because I directed his attention on me, I'm more conscious of how he sees me, hence, giving me a more objective view of my own actions.
So anyway, if whoever I wrote about accidentally chance upon this site, I'm deeply sorry for what I've said before. My own incompetence in dealing with certain situations is no reason for me to vent on others.
__________________________________________________________
It's sometimes hard for me to start writing. Most of the time I'm horribly dissatisfied with what I had and end up rewriting one paragraph several times. The most enjoyable writing I've done tends to flow directly from the brain to print, no silly sentence contruction woes etc. Of course that probably means that my grammer is worse than usual but... well... that's what spell checks are for? :o)
What I would really wish to do is to make any type of writing enjoyable. Or at least tolerable. I was struck with this idea after my exam today that during exams, I never seem to have a problem with writing. Perhaps I've been trained so well to answer questions that it comes naturally. So what I thought might work is to pose my writing pieces to myself as questions like "What is the purpose of this section?" and move on from there. It probably sounds silly but I think forcing myself to think about why I'm writing it sometimes help in giving myself clarity of thought. Will try this when I'm writing the report later.
One of the things about the report that I'm really trying to achive is to write like a kid. Not in terms of the content but the style. I've really hated reading papers and books whose main purpose appears to be impressing or confusing rather than enhance understanding. I've come to believe that we should write to be understood. If I can help it, I will not use jargon in my writing or yawn-inducing equations. I'm personally a technical person. I understand jargon. I love Maths. But equations still make my eyes gloss over whenever I see them. How would it look to someone without the same background as I do?
A common 'fault' I've found among the American engineering students is the desire to spew jargon. Maybe it impresses people in job interviews and thus grants them a better job. I personally don't like it. If an employer didn't hire me because I didn't use words he didn't understand, perhaps this is not the company I would be really happy in.
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Wednesday, May 11, 2005
Symptom #4
So I realized that symptom #4 is actually the urge to make repeated entries to my blog.
When he's around, I vent, complain, whine, discuss... basically talk about everything nitty gritty thing. And somehow after I've talked about things, I no longer feel the urge to even think about them in great details anymore. Which could explain why I no longer keep a diary after we got together. Which makes my pre-'him' days sound kinda sad. Like I have nobody I can talk to. Actually more like I won't want to bore other people with those silly little things.
Anyway, let me complain about my group member. Let's call that person 'Baba' (short for babaniang). Today, we were arguing about which methods we should use for the application. So Baba already implemented his way of doing it which I thought was a really bad idea. So we decided to ask our advisor about it.
It turned out that we could use Baba's way for part of the application, which is great news because it means that some preliminary results we obtained would still be valid and we don't have to rerun them.
What really irked me though was that Baba immediately said something to the effect of "see, I'm right' or 'yes!'. Uh-huh, right in front of our advisor. I didn't know he was so bloody concerned about being right. I personally don't care if I'm proven right or wrong. I just want to get the job done well. But obviously not so with him. I thought his little verbal victory dance was pretty rude. That, comebined with his customary condescending "If you insist, we'll do it your way" when I'm trying to suggest a better way of doing things, kinda royally pissed me off. Especially since he rarely listens to what I'm really saying, he just does whatever he wants anyway. (I'm probably being unfair to him on this part. It's really more about his other attitude problem)
Anyway, after furthur clarification, it turned out that we needed to use my idea for another part of the application (which was what I was really concerned with in the first place) aka 'Baba' was wrong. Childish, pushy dumbass.
Aaaah much better.
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When he's around, I vent, complain, whine, discuss... basically talk about everything nitty gritty thing. And somehow after I've talked about things, I no longer feel the urge to even think about them in great details anymore. Which could explain why I no longer keep a diary after we got together. Which makes my pre-'him' days sound kinda sad. Like I have nobody I can talk to. Actually more like I won't want to bore other people with those silly little things.
Anyway, let me complain about my group member. Let's call that person 'Baba' (short for babaniang). Today, we were arguing about which methods we should use for the application. So Baba already implemented his way of doing it which I thought was a really bad idea. So we decided to ask our advisor about it.
It turned out that we could use Baba's way for part of the application, which is great news because it means that some preliminary results we obtained would still be valid and we don't have to rerun them.
What really irked me though was that Baba immediately said something to the effect of "see, I'm right' or 'yes!'. Uh-huh, right in front of our advisor. I didn't know he was so bloody concerned about being right. I personally don't care if I'm proven right or wrong. I just want to get the job done well. But obviously not so with him. I thought his little verbal victory dance was pretty rude. That, comebined with his customary condescending "If you insist, we'll do it your way" when I'm trying to suggest a better way of doing things, kinda royally pissed me off. Especially since he rarely listens to what I'm really saying, he just does whatever he wants anyway. (I'm probably being unfair to him on this part. It's really more about his other attitude problem)
Anyway, after furthur clarification, it turned out that we needed to use my idea for another part of the application (which was what I was really concerned with in the first place) aka 'Baba' was wrong. Childish, pushy dumbass.
Aaaah much better.
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Hopeless
I'm really hopeless. Here I am trying to convince myself that I'm okay even if he's not here. Still doesn't stop me from getting all lonely and missing him at every corner.
Sypmtom #1: Drowning myself in work
... is almost pathetic. Well, not exactly drowning but I've been working on some notes for our study group (basically a bunch of us bums who never catch up with the reading and decided to each do a portion of the readings), random research on stuff etc.
Symptom #2: Not very nice Top 40s music is also blasting in the background
... in a bid to distract myself from how quiet it is here. Soon I'll be reduced to talking to my soft toys.
Symptom #3: Things that I normally do for entertainment seems so pointless
Somehow can't seem to derive the same pleasure from reading stuff or playing Diablo. Ironically, when he's around, that's all I do and I don't actually spend more time with him...
Bah! Need to get myself out of this almost-funk. *grumpy* __________________________________________________________
Sypmtom #1: Drowning myself in work
... is almost pathetic. Well, not exactly drowning but I've been working on some notes for our study group (basically a bunch of us bums who never catch up with the reading and decided to each do a portion of the readings), random research on stuff etc.
Symptom #2: Not very nice Top 40s music is also blasting in the background
... in a bid to distract myself from how quiet it is here. Soon I'll be reduced to talking to my soft toys.
Symptom #3: Things that I normally do for entertainment seems so pointless
Somehow can't seem to derive the same pleasure from reading stuff or playing Diablo. Ironically, when he's around, that's all I do and I don't actually spend more time with him...
Bah! Need to get myself out of this almost-funk. *grumpy* __________________________________________________________
Tuesday, May 10, 2005
Summer is around the corner
Summer's around the corner. Today's temperature was a sweltering 25C. 5 minutes out of my house and I was beginning to melt.
Darling has just left for Cincinnati to present his project to the sponsors. Mine is next Monday, on-campus, which is a relief since flying to Phoenix and back is a serious pain and waste of time. Well at least time that could be better used for other things. So today and tomorrow, I'll be all by myself in this room. I will miss him sorely but on the other hand, it's been a long time since I have the freedom to be responsible for myself and only myself. It's not that being a couple is burdensome but it's different when you can make decisions that are "For-Me-Only". I guess sometimes I do enjoy time by myself.
Not that I will be doing anything I won't be doing if he were around -- working on the project, playing Diablo II, browsing forums, etc. The feeling is just a bit different. Ah, and I can also blast teeny bopper (like Avril Lavigne) or techno (like BT, DJ Tiesto) music without feeling guilty for subjecting him to it :)
Most of the important things I have to take care of before I go home are settled.
1. Book tickets *Check*Darling has just left for Cincinnati to present his project to the sponsors. Mine is next Monday, on-campus, which is a relief since flying to Phoenix and back is a serious pain and waste of time. Well at least time that could be better used for other things. So today and tomorrow, I'll be all by myself in this room. I will miss him sorely but on the other hand, it's been a long time since I have the freedom to be responsible for myself and only myself. It's not that being a couple is burdensome but it's different when you can make decisions that are "For-Me-Only". I guess sometimes I do enjoy time by myself.
Not that I will be doing anything I won't be doing if he were around -- working on the project, playing Diablo II, browsing forums, etc. The feeling is just a bit different. Ah, and I can also blast teeny bopper (like Avril Lavigne) or techno (like BT, DJ Tiesto) music without feeling guilty for subjecting him to it :)
Most of the important things I have to take care of before I go home are settled.
2. Sending belongings home *Almost check*
- books are on their way but not too sure if the rest will fit in our suitcases
3. Liquidating other crap *Check*
- At least the big ticket items are taken care of i.e car, TV
4. Discarding items *Quarter check*
- I've been throwing some winter gear like boots, extra comforters away.
- Also arranged for a charity to pick up our PCs. Yeah, donated them away. Nobody's gonna buy 4 year old PCs
5. Taxes *Check*
6. Cancel phone, cable
7. Closing bank account, getting bank drafts
8. Pack!!!
9. Clean up stupid house so they won't charge us $25 per hour and hire someone to clean it
10. Return keys. Arrange to get deposits back
And then there's still my project to finish up. Bummer.
Monday, May 09, 2005
Farewell, baby car.
Today is the last day baby car will be with us.
In the evening, his new owners will be here to lead him away. It has been great fun driving around with him. He gave us the freedom to go out unconstrained by bus schedules. He is our first car. Well, it's really johnny's car but nevertheless, we both feel emotionally attached to him. It's funny how we develop feeling overs inanimate things.
When we first purchased him, we never thought he was the car we wanted, at least not in that color and not with the rear spoiler. If we ever get our second car though, I'm tempted to get one that looks just the same. (that would probably not be within the next five years given the cost of owning one in Singapore)
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In the evening, his new owners will be here to lead him away. It has been great fun driving around with him. He gave us the freedom to go out unconstrained by bus schedules. He is our first car. Well, it's really johnny's car but nevertheless, we both feel emotionally attached to him. It's funny how we develop feeling overs inanimate things.
When we first purchased him, we never thought he was the car we wanted, at least not in that color and not with the rear spoiler. If we ever get our second car though, I'm tempted to get one that looks just the same. (that would probably not be within the next five years given the cost of owning one in Singapore)
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Sunday, May 01, 2005
Hair of Steel
It's quite amazing but did you know that hair can pierce your skin? Well, I didn't. Either the hair around my apartment is extremely tough or the skin on my feet is extremely soft. Given that I have been walking on my feet and developing nice protective layers of corn, I'll bet on the former.
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