If I was going to a totally new working environment, would I feel more excitement than this quiet dread? My lack of interest in the new job is a little disconcerting to me because for me lack of interest really means that I'll do a terrible job. For some reason, I do really poorly in thinks I've lost interest in. Like a boring essay topic, or dry lectures + lecturers. I've gone through many subjects in school by finding interest in them. Otherwise, I don't think I would have done as well as I did. The ones that I didn't, totally flunked out on me.
Hopefully I will find some spark in the work I am assigned, considering I did not even have a choice in the matter. But I guess this wil be like going back to where it all began -- the very first internship that inspired me to study operations research instead of the more traditional engineering fields.
Sadly, I can probably muster more enthusiasm for the upcoming WoW expansion even though I've stopped playing for a few months.
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Thursday, October 30, 2008
Wednesday, October 22, 2008
Am I Emotionally Distant?
A colleague quit today. I wasn't particularly surprised since she's another one liberated from her bondage. It seems a few of my colleagues already knew about it earlier. It's not that I'm eager for such news but I wonder if I really am emotionally detached compared to the other girls. It's probably not a big deal and I'm just overanalyzing other's responses towards me.
But I was also the last to know about a few other colleagues who were in a relationship with people around the company. Rationally, I could attribute some of it to my lack of interest in gossip. I'm not really interested in who's with who and who did what. If they wanted me to know, they would have said it themselves right? And if they wanted to hide, I wouldn't bother to pry.
I may be grasping on straws but cumulatively the evidence seems to suggest that I'm not someone that people normally talk to. Is it really true that I'm emotionally distant?
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But I was also the last to know about a few other colleagues who were in a relationship with people around the company. Rationally, I could attribute some of it to my lack of interest in gossip. I'm not really interested in who's with who and who did what. If they wanted me to know, they would have said it themselves right? And if they wanted to hide, I wouldn't bother to pry.
I may be grasping on straws but cumulatively the evidence seems to suggest that I'm not someone that people normally talk to. Is it really true that I'm emotionally distant?
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