Finding my Freedom

I was quite unhappy the previous time he brought his friend home to play on the console. They would spend hours playing and generally lose track of time. I’m always uncomfortable in the presence of strangers especially if they are strangers that belong to someone I know. Even if I’m in my home, I manage to feel claustrophobic. That time, I just sat and sulked, hoping that he will somehow realize it. Which he didn’t.

My chest tightened. I got sad at my own inconsequence and then angry. But I never really did anything about it. I just kept quiet and fumed inside. (Imagine how bad my blood pressure must have been!) I thought I couldn’t do anything. After all, how do you ask a guest to leave without being offensive?

So all this while that I’ve pegged myself in, I never realized that freedom was so easy for the taking. It did not dance in flashy ads or hide behind a banyan tree. Somehow, I just never saw it. I just suffered silently and let the anger bubble along painfully. Today, it was different and I am happier for it. I never realize it could be as simple as saying “Okay, I think you guys should stop”. How silly I am.

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The Blues

It’s been one week at work. I’m still waiting for them to shuffle the portfolios and give me something to do. So meanwhile, I’m just sitting around reading anything I can lay my hands on. But it’s starting to get boring. I wonder if the fact that it’s Friday makes me want to leave more eagerly than usual. Or maybe it’s been a whole long week of monotony.
Man there’s so little time left when you start working. Everything has to be cramped into the measly weekends. No wonder people suffer from Monday blues.
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The LongDue Update

Last Friday was my first day of work. I believe I can summarize my job with four dreary words: long hours, low pay. I don’t really like the people from HR. Most of the general staff I’ve met there are really inefficient. On the other hand, I guess that’s why they are stuck in that kind of job. If they were deserving, efficient but merely uneducated, they would have already moved on. At least we have a car now, so getting to and from work is a lot faster than it would have been.

His parents also bought a condo around their area with the intention of parking us there. Forever. (Update: The deal didn’t go through for various reasons. So we are stuck in the same condo. Forever!!! Not.) Maybe they are already imagining cute little unborn grandchildren running around them screaming "Grandma" and "Grandpa" (Or maybe even "Gramps!"). I shudder to think of it. So essentially, we have been bribed to stay close to them even though our work place is really at the other end of the island and it would have been so much economical to get a place there.

I guess I should be happy that I’m marrying into a ‘good’ life. But I’m not. Some people might dream of marrying a rich prince/ heir/ person, stay at a condo instead of a crummy HDB and drive cars instead of slumming it on public transport ( we still take buses when there is a direct bus to our destination. Parking is troublesome). I guess I’ve probably done my fair share of dreaming of marrying some rich guy and living the life of a tai tai. I really can’t remember. Right now, that just seems so absurd, not to mention boring. After all, I didn’t go through all those years of education so I can sit around diligently being unproductive.

I don’t know if this is a result of being in love, but I find myself easily contented with simple things. Like being together. Like a cow.
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