I've been meaning to post something for a while but ended up doing other things instead. :
Phoenix Trip (Jan 12-Jan 13)
It's been a week since I went for my site visit in Phoenix. Most of the trip was spent at the airport and on the flight. Somehow, the low-fare, no-frill, no meals flights are kinda depressing especially when the flights are more than 3 hrs. It's somewhat sad that natioanl airlines in the US have become nothing more than glorified budget airlines.
Had to get up at 4am, had a 1 hr car ride to Syracuse, endure 7 hrs of the whole budget airline travelling experience, and then went straight to the workshop and finally got to the hotel at 4pm. Was pretty much pooped by then so didn't really get to explore the city of Phoenix. We had a nice dinner at Sam's, a Mexican restaurant that serves some really good salsa and tacos. The weather was also significantly better -- around 17c which is just like air-conditioning.
The worst part of the whole trip was probably the flight back when we were stuck at Atlanta for about 3 hours due to a heavy storm. The whole waiting was filled with a redolent mix of stale food, human sweat and jumpy eagerness to get on the next plane home. Despite their eagerness, I realized that people here actually wait for their rows to be called before entering the gate, quite unlike us Asians who have a tendency to cluster around the gate area, or even start a queue to enter the gate. On the other hand, American airlines also board from the front which is highly annoying since we have to wait for the inconsiderate slow pokes to put their luggage in the overhead.
Project (Jan 14 - the end of semester)
We've been working on our project dilligently. Things are going slow at the moment and for a while, I felt like we were in a slump. Today though, we are actually gonna start coding in Visual Basic for Applications (VBA). Well, by start coding, I mean two of the group of three (One of them would be yours truly) will try to learn to code in VBA while the last person will start coding.
The Remainder
I've never felt confident about coding in any form. It's not really that I can't do it but my brain keeps telling me that I can't do it. I think I have a horrible brain. It tells me about all the things I can't do instead of telling me what I can or should be able to. It has that irritating nay-sayer personality which makes me a little low in self-esteeem. These years have been spent battling that thing called my brain. I proved that I can indeed swim, ice-skate, write Standard Query Language (SQL) queries and cook more than one dish despite what the horrible pessimist in me has been saying.
Sometimes I wonder if other people feel the same way I do and fight the same battles. I would like to think that it is uniquely me, that I am special, valiant, a martyr and all that jazz. And I remember how upset I was in secondary school (high school) when I first realized that there are people who are similar to me. Well, I can only conjecture that they are the same, but somehow, I've lost the arrogance to think that what I feel and think is above what others might be able to feel.
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2 comments:
Hmm, i used to think my emotions can be far more intense than most people, but slowly i realise that alot of people can feel the same way too, if not more... But still, we are unique in our own ways... I can never find another SW who is so smart, and with that charactieristic grinz..hahaha. To people who know u well, u will be special, no matter what.
a friend once said: "you are unique, just like everyone else". ;)
that may be true.
and i'm sure everyone has their own battles.
but our crosses and burdens are uniquely ours. and i really do think some people feel more intensely. or maybe they are just more sensitive or fragile. it can be seen as emotional weakness (i sometimes think so of myself), but at the same time, it makes our experience of life that much richer.
and as YP says, to me at least, you will always be my brave and beatiful SW.
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