My V-day Pet Peeve

I'm one of those people who abhors the commercial crassness of Valentine's Day. I don't do it because I desire to be different from others. That much I am certain. One of my theories is that the insanity of the whole situation repels my logical mind. The idea of a day to celebrate love is in itself appealing. However, just like the ideal of a communistic world, the idea looks good only on paper.

In the case of communism, if everybody acted ideally, it would be heaven on earth. Therein, lies the problem, people do not act ideally. This reminds me of the prisoner's dilemma in that even though it might be beneficial for everyone to act selflessly, people tend to act to optimize locally. Which is why communism ended in a fiasco. I find it amusing however that people today tend to equate communists to terrorists. Hrrrm, as usual, I digress.

So back to the whole V-day farce, a recent article about the new sport on V-day at the office -- comparing the sizes of bouquets pretty much exemplifies the things I really hate about it.

Quote from the Straits Times Online:

The workplace now has a new sport on V-Day. And size matters in this race to be the object of greatest envy. [...]

According to The Times of London women in Britain too love this game of one-upmanship: Whose bouquet is bigger? Whose present is more extravagant? Who is being taken to a more fashionable restaurant?

Like them, many women here view these displays of affection as a barometer of love. Marketing director Ling Tan, 31, is typical. She recalls her disappointment last year waiting and waiting for that bouquet from her boyfriend of nine months.

'My heart would skip a beat every time a dispatch rider walked through the door. I was hoping that since it was our first Valentine's Day, he would do something special, like send flowers to my office.

'But nothing came till I left at 6pm,' she said.

What made it worse, she added, was watching two colleagues become the centre of attention and the memory of previous boyfriends dutifully [can you see my eyes rolling in disgust here?]dispatching bouquets of red roses or white lilies to her office.

In the end, it all seems like a silly game. It's practically a competition to see who's bf is a bigger sucker to buy me the most expensive bouquet -- yes the one that will wilt in about a week. Some women were in fact so stressed out by it that they forked out money to purchase bouquets for themselves. I can't deny that it is always nice to receive gifts but when it has evolved to something that women expect their men to do so that they can preserve face, the act, and in fact the day itself , has lost its meaning. Love is not a competition. To view it as such is to cheapen the feelings that you do have.

Perhaps more ludicrous is the price tag on this game. Perhaps it is with a little defiance that I refuse to receive any flowers on V-day. (That and my value-for-money-mindedness) When I was reading Cosmopolitan, one of the things I didn't understand was why it is such a faux pax for bfs to buy half-priced chocs for you the day after. In fact, with utter glee, we bought a half-priced box of V-day chococlates the day after V-day last year. Why is it important that he buys it on the right day for double the price? Are the value of the chocolates really double on V-day inself?

What peeves me even more is that some women are aware of how silly it is.

Ms Tan, like many, is keeping her fingers crossed that tomorrow, big blooms will arrive at her office. 'Sure, it's shallow but which woman doesn't want to feel like a princess, especially when most around her are getting special treatment.'

Yet they persist in their expectation that the men act like gallant knights that they've always dreamt about when they were a wee girl. Perhaps it's about time that these women grow up and instead of of imposing their silly ideals on them, accept their men for who they really are.