Cynicism

I'm a self confessed cynic.

The Oxford English Dictionary apparently defines a cynic as showing "a disposition to disbelieve in the sincerity or goodness of human motives and actions" and a tendency "to express this by sneers and sarcasms"

Cynics are often viewed as pessimists, essentially negative people with a predelication to criticize. For me, it's a view of the world less rose-tinted glasses. I do not believe that there is only evil in the world. I merely recognize that not everyone is good and in fact most people are ignorants, braggers, liars, self-serving etc. I question the motives of people's actions. But despite all the ills I've seen in the human being, I believe that there is some good some where. I mean lookie, I've found it in myself, in my darling and those nearest and dearest to me.

Perhaps it is because of my cynicism that I find myself lamenting that I have few friends. I'm looking for inherent goodness but I haven't found enough of it. I've seen myself shy away in disgust as I discover the ugly side of people. I'm civil enough to them but it's difficult for me to respect or make effort to social with them.

What I don't get is the negativity that people associate with cynics. I'm not critical of people just for the sake of doing so. I just say things as I see it. I want truth, not truthiness. I cannot pretend with innocent wonder that everything is beautiful because it's not. I want to see a pile of garbage for what it is, not create euphemisms and window-dress it and call it art.
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