Salad

In a burst of sudden health consciousness, we made a salad today. Half a lettuce, two tomatoes, a cucumber, half an onion, three hard boiled eggs and some ham, laced with Kraft Italian Vinegrette, and we're good to go. If you've never tried vinegrette before, I'd recommend it!!! I've always used to eat my salads undressed, so to speak since the only known alternative to that was Thousand Island or mayo. Somehow the creamy sauces just don't quite do it for me.

Johnny and I are not big veg eaters. In fact, we'd make denigrating vegetarian remarks. I have no gripes with those who turn vegetarian due to health or religious reasons. It's the holier than thou tones of those who claim to want to prevent "cruelty to animals" that sickens me. To most of them, it would seem that only "cute" and human-like animals are actually animals. Perhaps it's because people don't eat bugs but I don't think the thought of millions of bugs being squashed bothers them beyond the fact that it'll be pretty gross. Secondly, there are more things to worry about than whether domesticated animals who are no longer able live independently in the wild and were bred for the distinct purpose for providing meat are being eaten. There's war, global warming, the growing trash problem, water shortages, starvation.... It's pretty disgusting when you see the same people unscrupulously backstabbing each other, cheating on their boyfriend/girlfriend, spending money recklessly etc. How can someone who does not even care for their fellow humans claim to want to protect animals? Perhaps that's a more American phenomena -- college students desiring to make some difference to the world to feel more alive, to feel that they are needed by someone or ,in this case, something.

It's not that I like to see animals suffer. There are practices in the world which makes my stomach turn. For one, I'd never eat foie gras. The poor ducks had a long funnel stuck into their esophagus and a bundle of food just pored into them. I'd never eat shark's fin. They don't taste that great and to kill a shark just for the fin is ridiculous. But I'd gladly eat beef (not veal though), chicken, duck, mutton etc. I do not believe they have been mistreated. They are well fed, sheltered and cared for. Does us killing them for food mean it's cruelty? Are we playing God here? Nopes. I wouldn't call a fox who eats chicken "playing God". And if I ever saw a bunch of monkeys domesticating some animals I'd probably thought they are extremely clever. Do these chickens and cows really want to do anything else? After the whole genetic selection done by humans, these domesticated animals would no longer be able to survive in the wild. If humans no longer breed them, these species actually runs the risk of being extinct. But all in all, the most important part is that we simply love the taste of meat. :)

But we loved the salad too. It's easy to make as well. Maybe I'll make another bowl next week

Slump

I feel like I'm in a slump somewhat. Or maybe it's just the hot weather, making me impatient, easily frustrated and ready to take anything out on myself. Class schedules are still tentative. Yet to file my study plan for Masters year. My mind feels like a blur. On standby mode or something. Tired. I need clarity.

Chum(s)

It was really good talking to Ei-Lene again. We msg each other in spurts, here and there, once in a while but by no means were our correspondance regular. But there are so many things you can only say in private, some things you just don't really want to commit to words, banter that don't belong to an online comment/tag board. And well, most of all I probably really miss talking to her. We used to sit in corners in the hostel or our room and gossip or talk about stuff that concerns us (like whether I should call Minh tomorrow or something silly like that :P) It's good to talk to you know(well, at least think) will not judge you, will tell you if you're being retarded.... it's the kind of comfortable trust and understanding of each other that makes it easy to talk even after a long hiatus. I'm not saying I don't trust other people but it's more like I feel comfortable in my own skin when I talk to her. (the same goes for Johnny as well but that should be pretty much obvious)

haha eilene used to say that I am very high maintenance, in terms of our friendship. I'm someone who you need to spend a long time with before I really get close to a person. People have said that I'm private before though that was like quite a few years ago. Maybe I'm sort of still like that. After all, why would people want to know random things about me like how I errr... read aloud in a bookshop when I was really young (yeah that's kinda one of most interesting things I can think of right now.....)

New York City, here I come... again

There's one city I can't seem to get enough of and it's New York City. It helps that it's the biggest city close by. (By close by I mean 5 hrs by bus) Perhaps it's because of Broadway. After 3 or 4 trips to the city, I find myself drawn back The last few trips, I've been staying at cheap hotel/hostels like the Y (YMCA Vanderbilt) and Amsterdam Inn. This time, inspired by what I've read regarding Priceline bids, I've decided to stay at New Jersey. And for $55 a night, we are staying at the classy Hyatt Regency! (whoo-hoo) It's on the Hudson river and right across Manhattan. Supposedly all rooms there have some view of the Big Apple. Considering I would have had to pay $75 for a bunkbed at YMCA (yes, totally outrageous) where the cleaning ladies barge into the room w/o so much a by your leave in the morning, I'd say this is a great deal! Seriously, I was actually scolded by the cleaning lady for not putting out a do not disturb sign (we were both somewhat half dressed which may be why she was distressed).

So now, I'm just going to start planning on what to do, eat, see when we get there. Despite the fact that this short trip is like more than a month a way!!! Any suggestions on what broadway show to watch? I've watched Rent so far... yeah wanted to watch something all the other time but the TKTS booths were stupidly crowded and I was not willing to dole out $70 each to watch a show. Unfortunately, they no longer have Saigon nor Les Miz. Don't particularly feel like watching Mama Mia! nor Phantom. Not sure if darling would like Chicago. Prob won't want Beauty and the Beast or Lion King... The Producer sounds kinda nice. But I thought I'd get some recommendations from my theartre buff friends :)

Well, besides Broadway, I'm really there for the food. Maybe I'll visit Les Halles where my favorite celebrity chef, Anthony Bordain works (or used to work at least) and I'm definitely going to Barney Greengrass for nova eggs and sturgeon platter (as recommended by Anthony on his show, Chef's Tour(?)) Then there's that yummy Cantonese dim-sum place in Chinatown. What else.... I'll have another month more to think about that :)

One other thing that is attracting me are the sample sales, a place where you can designer duds for a steal. I'm not really into designer stuff per se but if there are some quality clothing for cheap, you bet your salt I'd want to be there :) I bought my very first designer dress at one (It was an Anna Sui) I'm really not big on branded stuff but some of them are undeniably pretty...*looks down and shuffles feet* I'll just take it as an occasional treat. After all, there won't be such things as sample sales when I start work in Singapore. :P

Photos

Hmmm just realized that instantlogic which used to host my pics has gone under. Good thing this blog lets me post pics.... more to come....

so much for idyllic

I'm BORED!!!!!!!

Idyllic

Amazing, I was awake at 5:30am this morning. It helped that I was asleep by 11pm last night. Still somewhat jetlagged. Plus now I'm beseeched by boils not thanks to my short hair. I don't think I've sported such a hair cut since secondary school. It's seriously reminiscent of my mushroom look from yesteryears (somewhat better since the quality of my hair has improved. Photos to come...soon?) School starts on Thursday and thus begins my life as a grad student. Sounds kinda funny, doesn't it? Regardless of my age, I don't feel old enough. Haha in a couple more years, I'll probably lament ever saying that. People who see me for the first time have been thinking that I'm 16 for quite a few years now. I wonder when that perception will change.

Darling is at the TA training program and will be for the whole day. I'm just sitting at home idyllically, playing games on the playstation, downloading manga, cooking, cleaning (not all that much of it done admittedly) and waiting for him to be back. Heh heh so housewifey. I guess it's something I would enjoy doing maybe once in a while. But when it becomes a permanant thing, I'd probably hate it.

Yawn

For once, we are both pretty jetlagged. Blame it on the long afternoon naps (like 4 hrs) and then inability to sleep past 7am this morning despite falling asleep at 3am before. Or you could even say it was the bus' fault for making us reach home at 4am yesterday. But at least I got breakfast cooking this morning at around 10am only to fall asleep at 12pm when I was going to go to PMall and get some yummy Friendly's burgers. Hmmm now I'm feeling kinda hungry. Guess I should just get dinner cooking in a sec. Lamb chop, buttered mushrooms and broccolli on the menu today. Hmmmm..... yum! Hmmm damn, was supposed to have more carbo and less protein so I would feel more drowsy. Ah well whatever. Shall enjoy the last of our pre-semester couple-exclusive time. A friend is staying with us for the next week or so. Yeah... bummer

I'm back

Yay, back to my err... not too lovely apartment at the moment. I managed to get on the non-stop flight to new york so I'm back one day earlier than I expected. The new 18hr flight was nice with enough leg-room to actually stretch my legs fully. Or maybe I'm just short. Let's not even pursue that train of thought right now. *grump* darling is staring at me as I blog right now...*grump grump grump* *snarf snarf snarf*

Anyway, took the 11pm shortline bus to Ithaca and got home at 4am. The apartment smelled kinda musty. After airing it, had to re-wash the dishes, cutlery etc while the noodles were cooking. Then had to get rid of the gross moldy crap (i.e oyster sauce and pasta sauce) that was left in the house. And then mopping floor etc.... Not quite what I thought it would be when I get home -- just change the sheets and throw myself into bed. Haven't even unpacked yet. Still need to get the car jump started and collect our mail from YawShin. Yeah random chores. And I thought I could just settle in and start cooking my sumptious meals :) Maybe not that sumptious lah.

One of the good things about going overseas is that there is actually motivation to cook. That only applies if you have your own kitchen. Sharing a communal bath and kitchen is kinda put-offing. Not least because of the disappearing food from the fridge. Now in my own little apartment I can experiment with little dishes once in a while. Perhaps it helps if you have an appreciative little piggy for a darling who says everything tastes good :P

While we were in Singapore, we went to a German restaurant twice. I have to say pork knuckles tastes much better than I imagined it to be. Don't mistake me, it was actually really delicious. The flesh was tender and soft. But what really lured us back was the portabella mushroom appetizer. Just for the record, the restaurant is called Paulaner Brauhaus and it's at Millenia Walk. So yeah, now I'm inspired to cook up some yummy portabella mushroom dish since both of us love it so. off to find some handy recipes now. Ciao. :)

The "Big" Day

Today is my “big” day so to speak. Mainly, that consists of me giving a presentation to the rest of the department to tell them what I’ve been doing over the past month. Thank your gods people, I shall not go into the nitty gritty detail of what I’ve been doing (which has a glorified title of “Air Traffic Analysis”) Now, I’m just hoping that the stuff is actually relevant and not like old news or something. Most of the time, I’m torn between thinking that the presentation is good and that it is merely stating the obvious. Much like the debate within that tells me that I can do *insert random task* and then suddenly thinking that maybe I’m like those self-deluding worms who are actually pretty worthless. That is perhaps my life. Self-doubt, self-doubt and more self-doubt.

I guess you could say I have a low self-esteem. I’ve always thought of myself as incapable of anything remotely athletic; I’ve resigned myself to being second best in everything but perhaps personality. Though I’m constantly pleasantly surprised at what I actually can achieve, I don’t think it’s a good way to live. Darling is like my esteem coach. I trust him to tell me the truth about myself yet I wonder how much of his views are tinted by the fact that he loves me. In his eyes, I have grown more attractive over the years; I vacillate between wanting to believe and disbelief. I guess it doesn’t matter how I look as long as he believes I’m beautiful. But I guess deep down, I want to feel beautiful as well.

Back to my presentation where my self-doubt still lurks and I sometimes tell myself that I seriously don’t really care about it anymore. Perhaps nobody else really cares about it anyway.
There has been some huge debates about speaking good English and singlish in Singapore in the past. Some claim that singlish is a sign of their culture and should not be looked down upon. It is kind of sad when people will claim that broken English accented in all the wrong places is a critical part of their culture. When I talk to most Singaporeans, I switch over to Singlish mode much like the way I make the switch from English to Hokkien when I’m speaking to my mother. It’s pretty much a different language for me. I’m comfortable with it. However, when it comes to presentations, I am back to my formal voice. Proper Queen’s English, every syllable of it. Now I feel weird because most people don’t have such a formal tone. I can’t help myself really. The very prospect of giving a presentation in Singlish sounds too bizarre. I can imagine myself rolling on the floor, tears in eyes as I laugh at myself. Now, wouldn’t that be truly pretentious?