Delusions of the Creatures of Vice

So I lament yet again about the poor quality of my writings but in truth, I'm glad that I write at all. Right now, I just want to subscribe to the thought of quantity over quality. I used to want to be a writer. It's still a small dream of mine but I think to improve and get back that writer's mindset, I can only continue to write, however poor they turn out to be. As I go along, it's nice to be able to chronicle my thoughts about people and things around me. Maybe many years down the road, if I stray from the path called "I", I will remember what it was like to be the me now that I enjoy being.

There is this old 50+ year old guy in my department. As is the norm in his time, he had very little education. He barely even knew English at that time. After 30+ years, he is still at his old position doing similar work. The company was quite generous in the early years in giving out stock options and those who stayed long enough would have had a tidy sum to retire with. But this old chap frittered it all away on luxury goods, women and alcohol because he wanted to live the high life. He would boast to us about how he spent hundreds on a night on karaoke or how he generously bought an expensive dish of kobe beef for a girl he saw at a restaurant. And all the while, he living on borrowed money. He owes a large sum to creditors and I imagine that his financials are in dire straits.

The company recently awarded him about $1000 as a token appreciation for his long service. From what I can hear, he has spent it all gambling. He was loudly proclaiming to his colleagues that if he still had the money he would have treated them to lunch but he already spent it before it was even received.

"The possibility of winning is slim but at least I bought some hope. If I don't gamble, there is not even any hope left", he said. Is this the mentality of gamblers? I'm personally not a gambler. It's interesting but me and darling have no interest in the vices: gambling, drink, smoking. In fact, we stand quite strongly against smoking and dislike alcohol.

The sad part is, many Singaporeans believe that having money will make them happy. The old man above continued, asking his colleague to spend her windfall money treating him to lunch instead, "Just spend the money on other people and make them happy. And it will make you feel rich". And at some point you realize that some people like him cannot be saved. Instead of thinking about what he did wrong, he was blaming God for not helping him (win the lottery) especially since, in his own words, he is such a kind and generous person. Do people really think that money is everything? There are ways you can be kind without money. The way he was boasting about obnoxiously makes a scene at customer services, or calling up employees of banks and harass them, I can hardly believe so.

It is people like him that makes me feel strongly against welfare. I do not want to give money to people, old, pathetic or otherwise who do not even help themselves. If he spent all his money frivolously and ended up in poverty, I do not want to be the one supporting those like him. There might be people who sincerely need funds to pick themselves back up but an indiscriminate welfare system that will help support the dregs of society just feels wrong to me.
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