Torn

4 weeks more of classes. Torn between being relived that school will be over soon and the fact that working life will begin. Of course the grey area between will be very much welcomed.

The last weeks of classes is also the busy periods where projects get completed. My masters project has been on track but somehow the work never stops coming. Right now, I'm performing some sensitivity analysis. The runs take a while so meanwhile, I surf the web and blog etc. It's kinda nice to feel productive while doing other things. I'm really hoping that I will at least enjoy my work. I'm not even sure which department I will be posted in yet. I might request to go back to network planning. The group there is pretty young and I've had a fruitful time there.

Recently, I've had the feeling that I have too many things I want to do but too little time. It's not that my schedule is packed. To the contrary, my class schedule is relatively blank. However, many of my tasks require indefinite number of hours with no immediate urgency. I know that I have to get my projects and reading done by the end of the semester but I can't quite get myself to commit a fixed number of hours each week working on them. Me thinks I need more discipline. Sometimes I get confused between how I should tradeoff my wish to relax and desire to succeed. Is the delayed gratification really worth the sacrifice of enjoyment now?

Sometimes I actually worry that I work myself so hard that I'm missing out on enjoying my youthful days. Conversely it could also be true that I'm just kidding myself and I should really be doing more than I am now.
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