More on Friendly Shopping

(*Another long post alert* Haha sorry people, you'll need another cup of coffee today. Must be all the words held back during the week :))
In the last entry, I recounted the trauma in the dressing room when I was trying to make an exit, knowing that I wasn't going to buy the (beautiful) but exorbitant bra. The retail people in the US are extremely friendly or at least they make a good show of it. When I was back in Malaysia and Singapore, I complained about the low level of service there. Many sales people are unhelpful, sometimes rude and occasionally freaky.

They are, in no order of dispreference:
the "hogger"
Characterized by the constant hovering around a discount bin, folding every article of clothing as you look through them, making you feel guilty for giving them more work;

the snobs
They won't give you the time of their day unless you are dressed rich enough.

the young designer
Freshly out of art colleges, they are eager to display their wares to you their new potential customer. I'm sorry to say this but some of such men look kinda gay. Comfort is not the word that comes to mind when I see a guy dressed more feminine than me.

Then I realized that the "friendly" American style retail doesn't always please me either. When you enter a shop or a restaurant, a waitress or salesperson will come over and ask versions of "How are you doing today?". At the cash register, they would say the invariably "All set?". It's kinda like the "Wassup" that my American acquaintances throw at me. They make me feel at a loss for a reply. Firstly, I don't think they are really interested in your story of how you had a bad day and the gory details of how your boss/friend/whoever pissed you off. So if they really don't want to know, why do they bother asking? I've since found out the accepted answers which vary from "great", "not that great"or "not much". But it still sounds vaguely pointless. Now I can imagine the shock on the European faces when they heard/were asked "Jia ba beh?" (Have you eaten? in Hokkien) when they are in Singapore or "Apa khabar?" (What news? in Malay)in Malaysia.

Well, after you leave the dressing room, the question that assails you would be "How's everything?" I'm sure they are being helpful instead of trying to imposing some psychological pressure on me to buy the garments I just tried. I've heard dressing room assistants give people advice on a styles they think would look better. Afterall, some of them are veterans. Those in the lingerie department are rumored to be able to determine your size in a glance; In the cosmetics department an old-timer can tell instantly which shade of foundation goes best on you. Those are precious assets and skills to be sure since they ensure that a customer is satisfied with their buy.

I'm pretty skeptical about advice given by them because strangers, esp women, tend to lavish undeserved praises on you. They might have some ulterior motive of boosting their sales so they get the sales person of the month award. Or they might say nice things to you because well, it's a nice thing to say. They wouldn't tell you that your butt looks big or that the color just doesn't go. They can't tell you that an item is not value for money or that it doesn't go with anything in your wardrobe. I guess it never really hurts to get input or advice from other people especially when you are not very sure about what to get. So next time, when I try on an item and I don't want it, I should just be honest and tell them with a straight face that it's just not for me.

Something Stupid
In lieu of shopping, I read this from a Singaporean girl's blog and was pretty aghast. She had just spent $200 buying clothes online and some guy which I presume is her bf asked her "Aren't you already in debt from previous months unpaid credit card bills? Why are you still shopping?" Here's what she said:

"Naturally, I said, OK, you can pay for my stuff then. Because, really, I have this theory. Money is important to everybody (don't lie to yourself). Hard-earned and all. If a guy can bear to part with his money to spend it on me (and my frivolous stuff), then it proves he really loves me. Am I right? So now I'm giving him a chance to prove his love.

Also, I have this other theory about how shopping is crucial to a relationship. X-Boy thinks it's sex, but it's really shopping. You see:
1. If the girl is shopping, she's happy and won't nag at the guy. In fact, might even consent to sex willingly.
2. When she's shopping, the guy gets his free time (unless you get a needy chick who wants you around to accuse you of unsaid things when forced to give an opinion). He can go have his beer or ogle at other women. He's happy too.
3. When the girl looks good, she maintains the interest and desire the guy has toward her.
4. As above, when the guy pays for her shopping, it proves he loves her.
5. When the girl makes the effort to look pretty for the guy, it proves she loves him. (Actually, it doesn't, but nevermind.)
Therefore, everybody lives happily ever after."

Here is an example of a growing debt problem among the younger generation. I don't understand why people must spend above their means. If you can't afford it, don't buy it. Not only does she spend irresponsibly, she wants someone else to take responsibly for her spending? In the name of love? Please, don't cheapen yourself and whatever it is you call love. So love is only as deep as how much he is willing to spend on you? In her defence, she might have been half-joking and half-wistful thinking. But that idea is prevalent -- he didn't buy me a bouquet of overpriced roses for V-day *waaah* he doesn't love me; he bought me a moisannite (a man-made diamond lookalike) instead of a diamond ring worth 2 month's of his salary *waaaah* he doesn't love me (even though I can't tell the difference); he paid for this overpriced sweater/necklace/dress that I've always wanted, he must love me lots!!!; and also judging from other wistful sounding comments left by other girls for the said blog entry, I'd say the idea is generally met with approval.

Some part of me is probably biased because earlier, in the same entry, she said one of the thing I've heard in a while. Here's how it goes:

"...I have this theory. You know on auctions and flea markets, all the second-hand retail, you always see all the large sizes? That's because bigger sized people have a lot of clothes to sell which they bought on impulse thinking it'd one day fit them. But then it doesn't and it's unflattering on their current body. Skinny people don't have that problem because whatever impulse purchase will still look good on them anyway. That said, I still appreciate that I'm not a skinny person."

Now that I reread that, I can't quite tell which part of it I specifically dislike but it irks me to some degree.

The Thrill of Shopping
Johnny was wondering aloud the other day when he saw how happy I was with my new clothes and stuff, "What is it about girls and buying things? It's like they get a thrill just from buying things notwithstanding how much they actually like it" I guess he was referring to the hardcore shopaholic types who appear to get an orgasm from just the process of buying. I wouldn't say that that applies to most normal people but girls do get an inordinate amount of pleasure from buying things. I remember those younger weekends when I would walk the malls aimlessly. There's this sense of futility when I go home without something new in my hands, like I've just wasted my whole day (Sunk costs my dear. SUNK COSTS!!!) Luckily, the older me no longer feels that unreasonable urge but I remember that feeling vividly.

Somehow guys just don't feel the same kinda of joy when I lay my hands on something you really wanted or that giddy happiness that makes me giggle when I see the cute bag I bought a month ago. I can't really say if that's fortunate or unfortunate. Actually, I'd probably think that a guy who gets really happy buying a new shirt and giggles every time he sees the shirt is gay. No offense to gay people. I just don't think that's what straight guys to do. The same goes with dieting. The beauty of being a guy is being able to eat whatever you want and not caring. Being a little health conscious is okay, dieting is just roll-eyes ugh. Leave the feminine stuff to the women-folk please!